blame.

people ask, "so what did you learn?"

there has been a constant struggle to gather the words in the my head to explain. the answer changes each time, depending on my mood, the person asking, or even the time of day.

but when i ask myself honestly, i still don't know the answer.

it's like asking a women who was raped, "so what did you learn?"

after i told my mom what happened, i had that sinking feeling because she insinuated it was my fault. of course, that is not her intention.

it's like saying, "maybe you shouldn't have been wearing that dress" or "maybe you shouldn't have been drinking." there are many words i would like to say about this, but i won't. i don't have to.

for those who fall victim to any ill treatment, there is always that feeling of dread.
tied to the accordion of blame, guilt, shame.

every reaction is different, but in the end, it's all the same.

at the end of the day, it's about survival.
no more mind blocks, no more excuses.
because the body is only as resilient as the mind,
and i refuse to be a victim.